Keeping Your Relationship Alive
Love Lockdown – Surviving to Thriving
It would be fair to say that Coronavirus has disrupted almost every aspect of our lives, especially impacting our relationships. Thankfully, I have put together a few tips to help keep your relationship alive during lockdown.
For most couples living together, they have been locked into a new way of living and are now forced to spend every tedious hour together and even for the strongest of relationships it will have its testing moments. From the home maker who now has an extra body to account for, to the working couples who’s after work socials are now living room lulls and those whose office space is now shared with the clothes horse – this article is for you.
New pressures bring new problems and new problems bring new ways of doing. Therefore, accepting this early on is going to be really useful. We need to address the elephant in the living room and talk about how our relationships may suffer and how we can thrive in our love lock down.
5 Key tips on keeping your relationship alive:
Focus on yourself
Self-care isn’t selfish and making sure your glass is full isn’t either. In order to work well together we need to be able to work well on our own. Neglecting your own needs may promote resentment and a bitter atmosphere which will not help at all.Tasks such as: –
- Reading a book
- having a morning coffee alone
- going for a run
… all may be your version of self-care so make sure you keep practising it. Follow my guide to keeping calm during Cornavirus if you feel unsure of where to start: https://your-mind-matters.co.uk/creating-calm-in-the-corona-chaos/
Create a new routine within the relationship
Our routines have changed a lot therefore it would be naïve to believe we can plod on and hope for the best and so we need to create a new routine which works for both. Highlight what you both are capable of doing; are there jobs one doesn’t mind doing and the other hates? Ease the load and plan wherever possible. Creating routine will relieve some element of uncertainty which may reduce levels of anxiety.
I recently created some tips and tricks for the staff of Pretty Little Thing to help with adjusting to working from home, follow the link to see how routine may ease the strain within your household and further help your relationship survive lock down – https://www.instagram.com/p/B_m7WK1ngA3/
Quality over quantity
Just because you’re physically with each other more, doesn’t mean the quality of time is there. Make sure you’re allocating time for each other away from work and other responsibilities. If possible create two separate working spaces and limit small talk to ensure the time you do spend together is full of conversation and chit chat. If you’re used to sharing stories about your day, you can’t do this if you’re intertwined in each other’s. Limiting the small talk will maximise the quality of conversation for later and give less opportunity to run out of things to talk about! Don’t forget, we all need some alone time so make sure you factor this in – this goes back to number 1, it is normal for us to want to be alone from time to time and we should respect this of each other.
Take responsibility for how you feel
No one’s perfect and I am yet to find a relationship that is either. There may be tension from time to time which is still normal, the dynamic and routine has changed therefore our go to methods of coping may not be as effective whilst in lockdown. Take responsibility for how you feel, allow your emotions but keep in mind that they are your emotions and not anyone else’s, it can be very easy to pass blame because looking inward is not something we have had to do before. Own your emotions, communicate them and allow them to come and go. Being open and honest is key to keeping your relationship alive.
This is a temporary situation
Remember, this won’t be forever. Your lives will eventually gain some form of normality and you will no longer be required to spend every waking minute together, so when you’re thinking about the negatives, remember all of the positive things from before lockdown – they will come back and in doing this, your relationship will survive lock down.